From August 6, 1999

IrishPiston: You there?

ballisticman: yes

IrishPiston: I think I beat the upper decker out as my worst act.

IrishPiston:  The bottom of the bay was bad.. but this I think is worse.

IrishPiston:  I don't know that I want this published yet either.

IrishPiston:  The past few days, my coffee creamer carton has been getting emptied at an alarming rate.

IrishPiston:  I have one of those flavored creamer cartons that I use for my personal use - for coffee.

IrishPiston:  This was royally pissing me off.

IrishPiston:  So yesterday afternoon, with the carton nearly depleted, I took it into the mens room and masturbated into it.

IrishPiston:  Put that motherfucker back in the fridge.

IrishPiston: Yoy ready for this?

IrishPiston:  This morning, it's EMPTY!!

IrishPiston: You there?

ballisticman: I am on the floor laughing...

IrishPiston:  LOL!!!!!!

IrishPiston:  okay

IrishPiston:  Do NOT publish this.

IrishPiston:  When I found the carton empty - that the asshole put back into

the fridge anyway - I had to tell someone.

IrishPiston: You are the sickest fuck I know, so I picked you.

IrishPiston: If word got around here that I did that, I'd either end up getting sued (if it's a chick) or face down in a creek somewhere (if it's a dude).

ballisticman: gotcha... I would never tell....

IrishPiston:  I told mark.

IrishPiston:  The shameful part is that I jerked off in a stall here at the office.

IrishPiston:  LOL

IrishPiston:  Rick couldn't do what I just did.

IrishPiston:  I had to hold the carton so my dick aimed right in that little screw cap hole. I had my purple capped phallus pressed against the opening for the last 30 seconds of that obscene rite of vengeance.

IrishPiston:  I just didn't expect to find the carton at all.

IrishPiston:  The fact that it was in the refridgerator with maybe a drop left tells me the perpetrator not only didn't want me to find the carton missing, but likely didn't realize they were drinking an amalgam of corn syrpu sweetened polymers, and my genetic matrix in a solution of prostate

snot.

IrishPiston: LOL

ballisticman: ok..

ballisticman: I need depends now...

IrishPiston:  You don't believe me, do you.

IrishPiston:  the fact that I'm admitting that I jerked off in a stall in the mens can ought to be enough.

IrishPiston:  That took some pride bruising to admit that.

ballisticman: Sound like fun.. I will take my coffee black if I ever come down there.. thank you...

ballisticman: I am fucking dying...