LOU IS DEAD!

Man.. the past week has just SUCKED .
It is only fitting, as the semi-webmaster of this place to share
with you all, the story of Lou, the pissed off Gatekeeper.
The Lord of the Ring, if you will...
Although his reign was short, it was memorable...

Lou showed up on Friday the 8th, around 11PM.  He Popped
up in the way that only he could. 

 Lou, you see, was a rather angry
Thrombosed Hemorrhoid.
(Yeah, that's really him/me.)

He was a robust size, golf ball sized or so, I hear.  In the
small amount of time that we had together, I learned more
about the elasticity of my ass than I ever cared to.  I spent
nights in agony, wondering what I had done to deserve the hell that had been unleashed on me. 

This past Thursday I gave up the fight.  I had been using
countermeasures that were barely holding the wrath of Lou at bay.
Butt Bullets, Prep H, Topical Antistethic, Lots of Booze.. None Helped.
I had to do it.

I let another man cut something off of my ass.

In less than 5 extrodinarily painful minutes, Lou was excised, and
sent to his fate...  And on my way out of the office, the lovely nurse who
actually was the one who brought Lou to his end, looked at me, and
with a lovely smile... simply said...

"Nice Ass"